Choosing to be happy, it’s not always that easy.

Some days it’s not as simple as just choosing to be happy. The trick is learning to be ok with that too.



6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Lisa Gremore
    Jul 08, 2013 @ 19:18:24



  2. Lisa Gremore
    Jul 08, 2013 @ 19:41:47

    Through Jesus I have found out how to have peace and contentment bad days better days. Joyce Meyer just got me one day (I previously thought I did not like her. Si I read Battlefield of the Mind, got my bible out, bought an amplified version and started meditating on certain verses that “caught ” me. One problem I had was I all of a sudden found out I could not “do” money. The cashier would say that will be so and so and I looked at the money in my hand and went blank. Few times of this I was afraid to buy anything if I could get dressed and get to town. I wrote I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me I have no idea how many times along with maybe one other. Memorization up to this point was gone but I did get these down. So On my way to town I just kept saying I can do all things through Christ instead of radio walked into Dollar General and tried again. (I was scared) (duh) I did it, and even if there were a few times after that where change threw me, I worked through it without hating myself. (most cashiers are very very nice.) I could not do the swipe thing either atm got that backwards and pin all messed up. Until I got better my daughter went with me and took over if I started to fail. Now I am fine with buying things. Like a lot of lyme symptoms it is gone and I can do money fine. I had and have guilt because people who love me can’t stand it when I am in chair in robe. They hate it I am sick. I hear a lot of lymies say they get mad if they are told they look nice, I hug and scream with joy if I am told this lol. This guilt (of being sick) was hard to work through. Again with God’s help I dumped the guilt but also with his help started trying harder to get cleaned up with clothes on. Now I am half and half probably. (I even do makeup and make sure clothes match and are cute) I just had to change my life. I do not take care of my horses anymore but I actually rode a week ago two nights in a row. I prepared for it, made sure things were caught up should it put me in bed. This time it didn’t, well a little but not as bad as it used to would have. Chronic Lyme I imagine does not always happen and it probably varies in intensity. Being asplenic put me in a rather vulnerable position to begin with. But overall I am happy. I love to read, (harder than it used to be lol but again I did not quit, just kept reading even I had to look up every character each time I picked up the book. I do not want this on facebook, okay? The biggest adjustment and hardest was and is one day at a time, one can not plan with this.


    • Allegra Knight
      Jul 29, 2013 @ 15:08:37

      Thank you for your honesty around your struggles with “Lyme brain” or the neurological effects of Lyme. It is tough and humbling. And good for you trying to look nice! Many times I joke with myself about “fake it ’til ya make it!” That even if I don’t feel good, I can still try to look nice. I don’t always have energy to do that though. It comes down the spoonie analogy: , which I can tell you are aware of (even if you haven’t read Christine’s blog) since you prepared to be run down after riding.

      Thank you for supporting my vlog and I hope to hear from you more!


  3. Amanda P.
    Aug 01, 2013 @ 23:09:36

    Allegra, I am glad that you are speaking out to as many as you can touch with your experience and insights. Acceptance and patience are not my greatest strengths, and I am inspired by you, to grow more with that.


    • Allegra Knight
      Aug 02, 2013 @ 20:34:16

      Thank you for your kind words! Hearing that I am helping is so inspiring! I still struggle with acceptance and particularly patience. We can grow on this journey together!


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